Situation #28 – Hey…buddy?

31 07 2008

The situation: First, name forgetting is not in itself awkward. This is an inability that is treasured amongst social creatures. Name forgetting, however, can become awkward when you have been introduced to a person several times and still can’t remember their name, especially in presence of said person. Whenever you are in their presence, their flowing locks, scruffy beard and Birkenstock sandals can only bring to mind one name: Jesus. Or say when you met this person he/she was wearing a stripped t-shirt and a toque and was very good at blending into the background. From then on the only name that popped up when this person was seen or spoken of was Waldo. The awkwardness of not remembering this person’s name can be exacerbated if the person had a tendency to end every sentence with your name. Isn’t that awkward, reader?

The solution: An obvious solution is to have a sackful of generic names : buddy (best if pronounced bahhhhh-dee), pal, duder, man, home slice, road dawg, etc. This can be extremely helpful in dire situations; however, someone with Jesus-like intelligence or Waldo-like mystery may be able to see through it. So, here are some additional pointers:

1.) you cannot tell them they look like Jesus. As much as you think your insight is so original, they have heard it before and likely do not want to hear it again.

2.) if you see the person infrequently, then you can give a personalized nickname to them based on something in that moment. For instance, if they are drinking a slurpee, give them a “how’s it going, slurpee-man?” This may appear annoying, but not awkward and less transparent than simply “man”

3.) If you see them slightly more frequently and can remember some fact about them, say that Jesus is an avid cyclist, call him Wheel-y . This works best if you also get many other people in on this nickname. Awkwardness gone and you are the awesome friend who nicknamed someone!



6 responses

1 08 2008

The use of the “baaaaaaah-dee” may be better than any of the other generic nicknames mentioned in the first part of the solution. In fact, it may warrant its own numeric point. Here’s why: Anyone born after, say, 1985 will by cued by this unique pronunciation of buddy to remember the 1992 classic “Encino Man”? Who could forget Stoney and Dave? Or any other Pauly Shore movie from the 90s?

Then, despite their Jesus-like intelligence or Waldo-like mystery, buddy’s thoughts will be automatically deflected away from your avoidance of their real name and towards wonderful memories of a classic film (e.g., wheeeeeeeze the juice). Trust me, it’s inevitable.

1 08 2008

ugh. i meant anyone born before 1985.

1 08 2008
journal of social awkwardness

ahhh, my pancreas

1 08 2008
Nick D

Dude, just came across this blog while searching for some facts for my blog – awesome stuff. Awkwardness is probably the greatest thing ever and I actively try to insert it into everyday situations.

I’ve got one for you: when you Shit Needle someone and you think it’s someone you know, but then realize that it’s a complete stranger. That’s a bad one!

I’ll think I’ll have to add this to my extremely exclusive blogroll.


7 08 2008

Viva La Evolucion 😉

12 08 2008

Best site. Greeat you.

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